Ridsdale Ode


Fans, Supporters, Yorkshiremen, lend me your ears
I come to bury Ridsdale, not to praise him
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Ridsdale. The noble Paul
Hath told you Cellino is ambitious;
If it be not so, it is a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Cellino answered it,
Here, under leave of Paul and the rest –
For Paul is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men –
Come I to speak in Cellino’s celebration.
He is our friend, faithful and just to us;
But Paul says he is ambitious;
And Paul is an honourable man.
Cellino hath brought many players home to Elland Road
Whose playing skills did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Cellino seem ambitious?
When the hungry have cried, Cellino hath wept,
Wept and provided free pies from the coffers:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Paul says he is ambitious;
And Paul is an honourable man.
We all did see in the accounts
Thrice I presented him praise;
Losses are down, wages are down,
The coffers, that languished empty under GFH,
Now overflow with cash;
Yet Paul refuses to accept this praise;
And sure Paul is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Paul spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know,
We all did love him once, not without cause,
For he defeated the barbarian GFH,
And promised to right the Ridsdale wrongs:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?
O judgment! Thou are fled to brutish beasts,
And men hath lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in Elland Road, there with Cellino,
And I can’t cease to help my Club;
Crabbed age and youth together stand,
Youth full of pleasure, age full of care;
The course of Leeds ne’er did run smooth,
Lord! what fools these mortals be,
That belie the brave who guard the gates,
From Ridsdale’s triumphant return.
And yet they are honourable men.
Fans, Supporters, Yorkshiremen, lend me your ears,
As now I exit, pursued by bear.

I’ve been asked by @BadgeSmiley to compare the accounts from Ridsdale’s last full year with Cellino’s last full year and he has today provided information to allow me to do this.

Overall it shows that, even in Ridsdale’s last full year the club’s accounts were better in many ways under Ridsdale than under Cellino now.

After adjusting for inflation, the revenue achieved by Ridsdale is far higher than Cellino has managed with Ridsdale achieving revenues an impressive 3 times greater than Cellino.

Similarly an inflation adjusted Gross Profit was far, far better back in 2002 than Cellino has managed. While Ridsdale turned in an impressive £83,195,000 gross profit Cellino has only managed less than one third of that, at 24,743,000.

Ridsdale also had better control of expenses in 2002 than Cellino does now. Ridsdale’s expenses, net of player amoritsation were just 2% above revenues whilst Cellino has reported his costs 6% higher.

Similarly, Ridsdale hasn’t wasted money on Exceptional Costs like Cellino has reported in 2016: Cellino made losses of £3,500,000 due to Exceptional Costs yet Ridsdale turned in an impressive £0 (£nil).

Cellino’s bottom line, net of player cost differences due to the club being in a different division, shows a loss of 33% of revenue in 2016 which is much worse than the 20% that Ridsdale lost back in his last full year.